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May 19 2018

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Of COURSE John Mulaney is the first male comedian to have a good #MeToo joke. 


Fun social experiment.

Walk into a church on a Sunday wearing grubby old worn down clothes. Broken shoes. Mismatched laces. Grass stained lawnmower jeans. Old teeshirt that’s a little thin and maybe has some holes fraying.

All the people who even avoid eye contact with you, 10:1 voted for Trump and would rather see you dead than acknowledge you.

All the people who talk to u anyway and ask how ur doing with warmth in their eyes, rarest cinnamon rolls who vibe on a higher frequency and we need to protect them and love them.

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My tummy doesn’t have to be cute. It holds my internal organs.
My thighs don’t have to “crush men’s skulls”. I use them to carry myself.
My stretch marks don’t have to be tiger stripes I earned. They came when I grew.


feeling this


I feel like even body positivity is too focused on, like, the appearance of the body. I know I became a whole lot happier with my body when I started thinking of it less in terms of how it looked (to me or anyone else) and realized, that, like…

When I feel cool breeze on my skin on a really hot day, my body did that for me.

When I step into a bath after a hike, and my muscles ache, but in a good way, and the steam all around me makes me feel like a flower blooming, my body did that for me.

And the hike before it, and standing on a large rock breathing the raw winter air seeing the power of the half-frozen river. That too.

When I’ve had a plate of pasta puttanesca, and I chopped and sauteed the ingredients and now I’m full-but-not-uncomfortable, and warm all over, and perfectly content, my body did that for me.

My body doesn’t have to look awesome to be awesome. It’s awesome because it’s where I live.

Best comment.

“[My body is] awesome because it’s where I live.”

Words. To. Live. By.

Finally, some real body positivity

You know how they say imagine everyone in their underwears when ur nervous to do a public speech or song. I kinda do that but only I just imagine everyone as a skeleton. Cuz all we are is meat and bones and to judge people on their visuals is petty








my femme girlfriend: [hour and a half later] ok I’m ready to leave the house

me: [throwing on shorts and a tank top] okay baby i love you and you look so pretty

My overdressed butch ass: [hour and a half later] ok I’m ready to leave the house

My femme girlfriend: [throwing on a sundress and head scarf] okay baby I love you and you look so handsome

Me: [after spending 6 hours on my hair and makeup] Babe I’m ready to head out now

My femme wife: [who has also taken 6 hours] Okay babe I love you I’m ready and your highlight is poppin severely but you need to blend that contour in a little bit

Me: [fixing her eyebrows] I love you

my overdressed butch ass: [hour and a half later] ok love im ready to leave the house 

my equally overdressed femme girlfriend: [also hour and a half later] okay baby i love you we’re both so pretty

Me: [10 minutes and a tank top later] ok babe let’s go

My equally lazy butch girlfriend: [also 10 minutes and a tank top later] I love you honey but we gotta stop taking each other’s tank tops

protect this post




So, wait

They JUST caught one of this country’s biggest all-time rapists and serial killers over forty years after his rampaging

It was suspected even back then that he may have been a cop, and it was noted that he had a knack for evading his victim’s guard dogs.

And it turns out he was indeed a cop, who was fired from his cop job mid-way through this murder spree, because he was caught shoplifting dog repellent.

NOBODY investigated that any further at the time??

It’s also worth pointing out that Michelle McNamara’s book about the Golden State Killer, I’ll Be Gone in the Dark, just came out recently. Michelle researched tirelessly to investigate this serial rapist and murderer, and after her death, her husband (Patton Oswalt) made sure her work was published.

It is NO COINCIDENCE that the surge of interest in this case, and the ultimate action and arrest by the police is due entirely to Michelle’s work. And the police refuse to acknowledge it. They are patting themselves on the back for finding and catching this man when it’s clear that they sat on evidence implicating him for years - because he was a cop. 

Patton has said (via twitter) that Michelle was not interested in fame or glory - that she would just be so proud to see this man finally being caught and made to pay for his crimes. But I think it’s worth acknowledging her work. (and, as Patton pointed out, the police are now using the name she coined for this killer - but, you know, she had ‘nothing to do with it’ 9_9)



this is one of the greatest exchanges of words in television history.

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kris was dead asleep and my cat woke him up by jumping up on the bed and simultaneously jumped on and clawed all his junk and so he hollered REALLY LOUD right at her face. he didn’t even say words. didn’t even scoot her off the bed or touch her at all cuz he was still half asleep and writhing in pain. just LBAHREAJGHRGH!!!!!!!!!!1 

and then she ran and fucked off so hard i couldn’t find her for 3 hours. and i live in a tiny ass one bedroom basement apartment so i started worrying she escaped when i took the trash out or when kris went to work. but no. 

she’s curled up in a little ball in the far corner of the litterbox room behind some boxes and milkcrates on an old shirt that fell out of the goodwill bag. moping.

i felt so bad and gave her some lunch meat. but she still won’t leave the corner.

;n; poor kitty cat. keep your claws out of the dickmeats next time.

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Clickbait buzzfeed titles is the modern equivalent of the newsies shouting ridiculous headlines to sell more papes

i hate this. i hate this goddamn post. this is the worst fucking post on this website. fuck you for making me think about this



My favorite part of Spider-Man Homecoming was the bit where Peter briefly impersonates Thor. He’s a British dude perfectly impersonating an American kid poorly impersonating a somewhat inconsistent British accent done by an Australian dude





imagine big bang theory, but in family guy’s art style

i tried to read this but my entire body got sent to hell so i dont know what it says

This image has such an intense miasmic aura that I’m typing from inside seven circles of salt

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This is a big step in the right direction, but we still need… Well, what the image says.


Remember these “no” names in November



rare pair hell is legitimately a form of torture.

old rare pair hell is like the final circle of hell.

it’s just you, five dead livejournal blogs and ur stupid fuckn one-sided rants to any poor friend who’s dumb enough to let u talk,




Am I the only one whose internet addiction started with my parents not letting me fucking go anywhere

kid: hey can i go outside and exercise and make some friends

parents: no

kid: okay then

kid: *relies on the internet for literally all social interaction and entertainment because there’s nothing else to do in the house*

parents: get off your phone. youre on the internet too much. you’re addicted. it’s unhealthy. children shouldnt be doing this. why dont you have any friends





“This poem doesn’t rhyme.”

Dude about to make haikus:

“Oh you haven’t heard?”

fuck you

i don’t know what to write i just want haiku bot to reblog this

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